


Where's My Money Naruto?

by booboolius



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Home Depot, It's not what you think, Uber
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 10:39:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5536820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booboolius/pseuds/booboolius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>naruto fails to pay what he owes to sasuke so sasuke introduces an alternate form of payment</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where's My Money Naruto?

**Author's Note:**

> according to my friend, this isn't how ubers work. anyway don't take this seriously

The time was 11:02am, and as of two minutes ago, Naruto was officially on lunch break. He closed his register in what seemed to be record time and ran to the Home Depot employee locker room to drop off his orange employee apron. He examined the less-than-fashionable article of clothing fondly before stuffing it in his respective locker.

He’d written his name on the apron with a thick Sharpie pen on his first day, and since then he’s loved it. Said Home Depot apron also happened to be orange, which was his favorite color. But that was beside the point.

Naruto had already summoned an Uber with the convenient Uber app and it was waiting outside for him in the Home Depot parking lot. He waved at the sleek black car to let the driver know that it was he who called up this Uber. Naruto let out an exhausted sigh as he opened the heavy car door and accidentally slammed it shut behind him. “Ahh, hey man!” Naruto greeted the Uber driver.

Unfortunately for Naruto, his temporary driver was nowhere close to as enthusiastic. In fact, he was quite the opposite. “Don’t ‘hey man’ me,” said the driver coldly. “You don’t know me. Anyway, where to--hey!” The driver was forced to stop mid-question as Naruto had practically crawled to the front of the car. The blond was busy scanning his driver’s torso for some sort of identification, determined to learn his name.

Naruto’s face lit up the moment he discovered the name tag pinned to the now-angry driver’s chest. “‘Course I know you…Sasuke!”

At this point, Sasuke was disoriented and didn’t really know what to do so he just started slapping and swatting at Naruto with his hand until he returned to his seat in the back. Flustered, Sasuke yelled, “B-Bastard! Knowing someone’s name doesn’t mean you know _them_!” He shuddered as he dusted off his Uber uniform--which was a gray suit with a mauve tie--and shot a glare at Naruto. “Where to?”

Snickering almost uncontrollably, Naruto settled back in the backseat. “Ichiraku Ramen please~,” replied he, still snickering

Having finally composed himself, Sasuke turned back to the front and plugged the address into his Uber navigation system which was just the iPhone map app. The emo said nothing as he started up the navigation instructions and set off on the road. Unfortunately for Sasuke, Uber required him to interact with his customers. He found it difficult to interact with others because he was always alone and emo and seldom interacted with people outside of his job. One would think after six years of working full time as an Uber driver that Sasuke would be used to interacting with others, but old habits die hard.

Still, Sasuke made an attempt at conversation as he drove. “So…you work at Home Depot?” Good one, Sasuke.

“Yeah I do!” Naruto beamed.

Sasuke discreetly rolled his eyes. “Cool--”

“This is my first job actually and I love it, I love working at Home Depot! The aprons they make us wear are bright orange and orange is my favorite color…” But Naruto didn’t stop there. He kept going on and on and on about how much he loved his job at Home Depot. Naturally, Sasuke wanted to end this interaction as soon as possible and the only way he could think to do that without telling Naruto to shut up was by driving super fast. So while Naruto was talking about his work and personal life, Sasuke was driving almost 95 miles per hour through a local school zone. One might, in fact, say that the raven was speeding.

Naruto wasn’t so dull as to not notice Sasuke’s reckless driving. “W-Whoa there Sasuke,” he began fearfully as he grabbed the car’s top handle. “You should probably slow dow-- _ow!_ ” Sasuke took a sharp right turn without slowing down and Naruto was flung face-first into the window.

Sasuke chuckled as he continued to drive at a criminal speed. “I’m actually doing _you_ a favor by getting you to your restaurant as fast as possible. Your fare will be lower that way.” It didn’t take long for the car to accelerate to 100, 110, and ultimately 120 miles per hour. Granted, the school zone was long gone now.

Eventually Sasuke and Naruto reached Ichiraku Ramen. Sasuke parked the Uber car on the curb in front of the restaurant and turned back to see how his customer was doing. Naruto was completely discombobulated by the ride. Though he had been buckled in with his seatbelt, Sasuke’s reckless driving still managed to throw him around in the backseat and leave him bruised and bloodied. He was gripping onto the top handle ardently, wondering whether or not the ride was over. “Euuugh…” groaned Naruto.

Sasuke ignored this and instead looked at the meter attached to the dashboard, he was looking for the fare. He just wanted this guy to give him his well-deserved money and get out. According to the meter, Naruto owed him $11.40! Sasuke’s eyes widened for about a fraction of a second. This was a lot of money to him! He was so happy, he could’ve jumped for joy were he not in the car. “$11.40,” said Sasuke in complete monotone. He didn’t want to convey his excitement through his voice or anything. He had an emo image to maintain and he couldn’t afford to ruin it now.

“Sure thing...Sasuke…” Seconds later, Naruto produced a [ duct tape wallet ](http://cdn.instructables.com/FT4/H2EI/G23UX7OX/FT4H2EIG23UX7OX.MEDIUM.jpg) from his pocket. He reached inside the billfold for some paper money with which he could pay his fare but was shocked to find that he had no paper money with him at all!

It was then that Naruto started sweating timorously. How was he supposed to pay for the ride if he didn’t have any paper money?!

“Sometime today perhaps?” muttered an impatient Sasuke as he smoothed out his tie. He didn’t understand what was taking so long for his passenger to get his money! He needed those $11.40! That was the most money he’d made this month and he’d earned every last penny.

“Ha ha...yeah.” Naruto returned his wallet to his pant pocket and scratched the back of his head nervously. “About that…”

“What? You don’t have any cash?!” roared Sasuke at a low volume. The blond flinched at Sasuke’s yelling, then nodded. Sasuke glared at Naruto through the rearview mirror, then locked the door and started to drive away from Ichiraku Ramen.

Naruto watched in horror as his beloved ramen shop grew further and further away until it was a tiny dot off in the distance. “Wha…” That was all Naruto could say. He was so undone.

Much to the blond’s surprise, Sasuke didn’t shoot him a another dirty look. Rather, his face was mostly devoid of emotion. “Tell me your name,” he said without looked at Naruto in the rearview mirror. It was more of a command than a question, but Naruto didn’t hesitate to answer. “Listen up, Naruto. You owe me $11.40. One way or another, you will pay me what you owe.” And with that, he took a sharp turn right and parked in a parking lot foreign to his passenger. In fact, Naruto hadn’t even paid attention to how Sasuke’d gotten here, so he didn’t know where he was.

The building before the parking lot was a large urban structure that seemed to be made of mostly glass and steel beams. It didn’t appear to be very sturdy to Naruto, but Naruto was no architect. Anyway, Naruto was freaking out. “‘One way or another’...what the heck is that supposed to mean?!” Worst comes to worst, Sasuke would ask Naruto to do something lewd and vulgar. Naruto started sweating distressedly. He wouldn’t have enough time to do all that and eat lunch before his break was over!

But Sasuke was already standing in front of the parked car, waiting for Naruto to exit. “Get out,” commanded Sasuke loud enough for Naruto to hear him through the glass. How endearing.

Warily, Naruto slowly opened the door and left the car, then followed Sasuke into what he later learned was the Konoha Uber HQ. The raven led him through the crowded foyer of the building and then through several hallways. As they progressed further into the building, the halls became less crowded.

“Get in,” said Sasuke as he opened a dubious door at the end of one of many halls and gestured for Naruto to enter.

Kushina ain’t raise no fool, though. Skeptical, Naruto inquired, “What’s in there--”

“ _Get in_.”

With little reluctance, Naruto crossed the threshold and entered what he believed was a locker room. It looked a lot like the one he would store his personal belongings in back at Home Depot. Sasuke had only turned on one of the dimmer lights in the room, so Naruto could only make out so much. He noted that their lockers were a grayish silver and appeared to stand in rows rather than bolted up against a wall.

“People usually don’t come in during this time of day,” Sasuke said coolly as he began unlocking his locker, “so I doubt anyone will walk in on us.”

Naruto side-eyed Sasuke suspiciously then started thinking of ways he could escape. He considered running out of the door he came in through but that would be way too simple and obvious.

Upon opening the locker, Sasuke stuck his arm in it and blindly searched for a certain something while making eye contact with Naruto. “Naruto…” he began, his voice low. “I’ve been itching to use this thing for such a long time…”

Naruto was now sweating violently at the thought of seeing whatever it was Sasuke was itching to use. “Uh--”

Pulling a textbook-sized box out of his locker, Sasuke exclaimed, “Here it is! Naruto, you have a card, right?”

“What?”

“Credit or debit, it doesn’t matter,” said Sasuke as he produced a Square Card Reader from the box. “As long as it has a chip I think this thing can take it.”

The two stood in the locker room in silence for almost thirty seconds before Naruto said, “Hold up. So you’re telling me you brought me all the way back to the Uber HQ or whatever just so I could pay the fare with a card on your weird card reader thing?!” That’s right. Sasuke brought Naruto back to the Uber HQ so he could use his Square Card Reader to accept payment.

By this point, Sasuke had already plugged the small device into his smart phone and entered in Naruto’s total. “Consider yourself lucky I didn’t call the police on you. Now, will you be paying with credit or debit?

Naruto was hungry and ready to go so instead of further aggravating the situation he pulled a debit card out of his wallet and silently paid what he owed. “Will you at least drive me back to Ichiraku Ramen?” he mumbled half-heartedly, expecting Sasuke to say no.

With a shrug, Sasuke replied, “Okay.” And with that, they returned to Sasuke’s Uber car and zoomed away from the Konoha Uber HQ.


End file.
